I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
