I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
