Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
