He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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