Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
be right there i have to get my cape
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
