margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
