remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize