the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
