Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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