why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
