Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
