I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
