i jhust puked up my retainher.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Bring me that man meat
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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