I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
