He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize