MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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