Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
