Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
