my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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