I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize