so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
