I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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