Have you finally orgasmed yet?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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