Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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