Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
try to milk me bitch
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
