I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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