My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
