it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
