I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
