I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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