She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
