The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
