Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
