woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
