I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
