YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
