Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
