we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
