Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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