Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Sober January is a disaster.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
