its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
