Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
