I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
