I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
