All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize