Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
