Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
