Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
