Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
As shirtless as possible
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
