No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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