the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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