Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize