Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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