I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
