There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He called his prostate his "boner button".
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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