hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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