you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
