My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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