im having a threesome with these popsicles
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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