I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
