It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
