burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
