Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
