a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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