he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
