youre lurking in front of me
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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