are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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