your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
