drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
