so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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