Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
