wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
