belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
