Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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