Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
vagina is talking i cant
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
