i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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