Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
