Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
