We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
