sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
